that feeling

A good friend of mine underwent a serious operation today. I really hope everything turns out alright.

Sometimes I wonder what it’ll be like to know when I’ll be leaving this life on earth. Should I be happy? Would i be proud of all that I have done in this short life of mine? I wonder what I would do if I only had a few months left to live..

Anyway today I went back to school for organic chem with ctn. He’s quite an alright teacher i guess, quite nice of him to come back to school for our sake. Which brings to mind the upcoming common tests, of which I have yet to come up with a proper schedule or study plan for the holidays.

Basketball was alright today though, quite good. I still feel stressed about work though. I hate sacrificing things I look forward to because of my responsibilities. Sometimes it just feels like I am pushing on some sort of huge wall whenever I realise that I need to do something I don’t like. Everytime I have to do something I don’t want to, my brain seems to slot it into a certain box that brings to mind the feeling of pushing again, painfully slowly. Hate that feeling.

On a different note, it just occurred to me, if what we discussed during wg about Ananias and Sapphira dying because God knew they weren’t going to repent, and stopped them from continuing to sin were true, then if God hasn’t killed me all the times I’ve sinned repeatedly, then it means i still have the chance to repent in my lifetime.